How does one get through everyday life when it includes a continuing awareness of the abject misery to which we subject endless animals, children and humans? How do you live within your own skin when others of your species are so abjectly cruel? Over the holidays, when I was placed at a table next to a “ham,” I could not help but consider the pig that was the living being, treated so dismally, slaughtered without mercy, eaten without consideration.  I saw the beheaded bird that had been deep fried and reminded me of the burnt Americans that were seen in the film, Fahrenheit 9/11.  The same frightening disengagement from what I used to call “humanity” is in evidence in both scenarios, whether the protestors on the streets or the holiday participants.

A recent article charged that too many vegans are too serious, too smug, too self-righteous. While some of the negativity may be defensiveness, some of it may be earned. Yes, I am very serious about the destruction of the planet, of animal habitat, of rainforests, of climate predictability.  I am serious about overpopulation and poverty, war, famine and human trafficking. I am very certain that factory farming is a disgusting, unjust, and intolerable practice that must stop. I have contacted people who have left some of those comments; one told me he was just sniping.  That is a good thing, because it may mean we are hitting a nerve.  But now I have to be joyous, too?

Sometimes I am, maybe even most of the time. I am pretty much always optimistic and hopeful. But when you spend most of your day researching what is going on in the world, it is not always easy.  It is more of a determination than a natural occurrence.  I recently watched the film, The Cove, and was riveted during the entire, tense documentary.  At the end, I had an unexpected reaction: big, wracking sobs – not a little sniffle, mind you, but deep, gut-wrenching grief welling up from a place of which I was unaware.  Who are these people? How did this happen?  Then I saw the redemption of one man in the film, and I think of that scene – one man, walking the streets, walking across a board meeting, a conference, with a display of what is going on strapped to his chest. One man trying to make something right that he set in motion years ago. If one man can change, all of us can change. We must.

Watching documentaries daily about many things that pertain to the environment and animal life keeps me continually learning, sometimes things I wish I did not know and had not witnessed. On a recent comment attached to a posted article, someone said they wish they had a bucket of sand in which to place their head, since so many other people seem to go about their lives, happy and oblivious. While I know that feeling, I do not really want to be oblivious, but there is a price for awareness. And an even bigger price for not having the awareness, because then the animals really lose and the rest of us do, too. Until there is justice for all, there is justice for none.

So some days I weep. I stop work, usually in the morning or after witnessing something with the emotional impact of Earthlings or The Cove, and I weep.  I then take a deep breath, dry my eyes, and continue on.  I silently apologize to all the animals who will lose their lives that day, and then get back to work. There is a lot of work to be done.

I later learned it was a conjoint birthday party, including the birthday of the fishing grandpa.  The boat ride lasted an exceptionally long time, and the returning mariners ended up needing to have dinner about 7 pm.  There was nothing for me, so it was suggested I come over when they were done, about 8:30 pm.  By then, having been up since about 4:30 am, and not feeling terribly welcome, I decided to wait until the next day to give my grandson his gifts. It had been a long day and I did not yet know that it was a conjoint gathering. Had I known, I would have come by to pay my respects to the adults who were celebrating, but I did not yet know. And fourth birthdays have special significance in our family, so at the time, it was a disappointment.

The next day the little one came over with his brother and his father and opened up his gifts.  I had a treasure map to find the pirate ship I purchased for him; he had to search through clues in a half dozen different places to find his gifts.  He and his older brother had a great time.  He said something to me about fishing; I didn’t realize his grandfather would be bringing a little fishing pole for him.  He mentioned that the fish had something red in his mouth.  I asked if it was blood; he said it was a tongue or something, he wasn’t sure, but he made a face.  He didn’t like fishing; he asked me if I liked fishies. I said yes, I like them alive and swimming around and being free. End of conversation and on to playing with his new gifts.

My grandson will have to decide for himself how he feels about bugs and fish and other creatures.  He shows great empathy around me but is adaptable to his circumstances.  I asked my son to please have a birthday for him that did not include harming any animals, but I did not sense much support; at times I think my beliefs about compassion offend the entire world.  I know that missing family gatherings because of vegan values is a common occurrence, but it is painful nonetheless. I think it is indicative of how frequently animals pay the price for human desires, because I know how frequently I am not included in things in life. I try to find ways to participate, to not leave my son in an awkward position because of my beliefs, without compromising my own values. I can only hope there will be more vegans by the time my little grandson grows up – he loves anything vegan, even me. I hope there will be a world left for him to grow into, a kinder world, where other people, other animals are respected and treated with kindness.  Meanwhile, I will miss the party if it includes harming other individuals, be they finned, feathered, or furred. It is a small price to pay to respect my fellow inhabitants.

Elizabeth and Buda

Elizabeth Collins inadvertently witnessed two slaughter videos in 2007 while watching television (MNN).  Although she was not eating flesh nor drinking milk, she had not yet understood the breadth of animal commodification. She had also decided to avoid leather, and searching for vegetarian shoes led her to animal websites, including a link to Earthlings.  While it took her awhile to build up her courage to actually watch the film, she quickly bought it.  She was sobbing just from watching the trailers for the film, and in conjunction with the slaughter films, she knew it would be horrific.  To gather information, along with her courage, she went on the forums for the film, and started hearing more and more about veganism.   She felt compelled to watch the film, although there was a corresponding dread to doing so, something most sensitive people may well understand.  In the interim between the purchasing and the viewing of the film, she began buying “free range” eggs, thinking it would eliminate suffering.  Her education was about to begin.

One night, she finally got her courage up and watched the entire film.  Again, she went back to the forums, because the experience of watching the film was so devastating.  The vegan advocacy on the Earthlings forum helped her to take her first step towards becoming vegan.  After learning as quickly as she could about animals and their suffering, she decided she needed to dedicate herself to non-violent vegan education, which led then her to podcasting.  Being alone in her struggle to understand the enormity of what was being done to animals and how she could change the current status quo, she realized there was a need for education and support for others who were learning the same things.  Living in New Zealand, she became aware of the lack of vegan education there, and NZ Vegan Podcasts began.

Buda's vista

One of the things I mentioned to Elizabeth, having listened to her podcasts from Day One, is the steep upkick of her learning curve and interviewing abilities.  On her first podcasts, I was immediately intrigued by her gentle voice and her authenticity.  She seemed so completely guileless, honest, and sincere, that I became a fan.  Then, after only a few podcasts, she became something a bit more: she became an accomplished interviewer that could captivate us all with her intriguing array of guests, from a 13 -year-old activist to the writer and distinguished Professor Gary Francione (Abolitionist Approach).  Elizabeth is one of the most genuine and compassionate people in the animal rights movement.  One of the things I most admire about her is that she is so undeterred. She told me (see full text) that she is a “ fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants” kind of podcaster, but I would say she is flexible and engaged.  Her humility, openness, kindness, and willingness to approach all others in the quest is helping her build a large base of eager listeners.  She is hoping to increase her presence in the New Zealand community but has meanwhile received much support from those of us overseas.

When I approached Elizabeth with one of those questions about vegan cats, she made a very good point that I had not heard elsewhere: as more and more vegans begin putting pressure on the manufacturers of cat cuisine, there will be more options, healthier options for our cat refugees; meanwhile we need to take proper care of them.  I think she is right; I just noticed that Wysong, a manufacturer that is sold in health food stores, is now making vegan dog food; hopefully, cat food will not be far behind. She called it “Sophie’s Choice,” and it is something very confusing to many of us animal lovers.  She also noted that we are facing these dilemmas because of our domestication of animals, creating dependencies and issues which, in nature, would not exist. (See Vegan Cats: What’s for Dinner and take the poll.)

Beautiful New Zealand

Elizabeth keeps going by turning to other people in the movement and reading the positive stories of the Peaceful Prairie Blog.  “We need to give ourselves hope and encouragement,” she told me.  But what really keeps her coming back for more, no matter what, is the thought of the suffering of the animals. It keeps her own grief in check, as it pales in comparison to theirs. She remains optimistic because of her own experience, shifting from non-vegan to veganism with the right information; she believes that when other people learn the truth, they, too will change.  ”I feel lucky to have received this information, not special or superior – lucky.  I want to spread the luck.  And spread the love.”

I want that peaceful world she is working so hard to give us; I want it for all of us. I especially want it for my little grandson and the world he will inhabit with all his fellow creatures.  But one thing I do have now, thanks to the Internet, iTunes, and Elizabeth Collins, is the beginning of an international community of compassionate people, working to end suffering.  One blog, one article, one podcast at a time.

To read the full text of my interview with Elizabeth, go here.

To download her podcasts, go to NZ Vegan Podcast or iTunes

To read her blog, go to NZ Vegan Podcast here.

To follow her on Twitter, go here.

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